Matching vs Connecting?

“Matching” programs have huge financial incentives that are misaligned to giving an expectant mom choice.

What’s wrong with the term matching?

So many “matching services” charge adoptive families exorbitant, non-refundable fees, don’t offer additional education and support services, and typically disappear once the match is made (regardless of what happens to the families). And sadly, many work with unethical providers (people who illegally incentivize expectant moms to place a child for adoption).

Expensive matching programs are financially incentivized to coerce an expectant mom into picking one of its families – regardless of whether or not it's truly the best fit for the expectant mom. Often an expectant mom is given a stack of 3-6 profile books and told to “pick one.”

Our model is quite the opposite: We do not benefit financially if an expectant mom chooses one of our families. We believe that removing those perverse financial incentives is the only way to remove coercion. We believe that expectant moms have the right to directly access as many families as they need to find exactly who they are looking for without pressure from anyone to choose a specific family. 

“As a birth mom, PairTree has always been more than just a matching platform to me. The support we’re able to provide our families is unmatched, the ethical standards we hold ourselves to, and the ‘why’ behind what we do each day is embodied by PairTree Connect. The connection I have built with my daughter's family is one of the most important relationships in my life, and our goal with PairTree Connect is to help other families create that connection as well and help them write a story they’re proud of.”  – Jess, Two-time Birth Mom

We would never ask families to pay to apply for “situations”.

There are several matching sites that post vague information about expectant moms online (called “situations”), and charge adopting families a fee to “apply” to have their profile shown to her.

Inviting adopting families to apply on an expectant mom’s “situation” is an extremely predatory practice for expectant moms and adopting families (and also just plain gross).

If an adoption professional is working with an expectant mom, it is their professional duty to help her find all of the compatible adopting families, not present her with the limited families that have the money to “apply” and pay exorbitant fees if selected. 

"The practice of unethical, high-priced, and coercive matching needs to end. And at the same time, we are ushering in a time of choice, transparency, and support.  – Erin Quick, Founder of PairTree